My goodness where has this week, wait…where has this YEAR gone? Can you guys believe there are only a little over 12 weeks left until 2018?!
I’ve been busy finishing the final edits of my new book, Simply Keto, as well as working on a redesign for this blog (coming VERY soon…), and of course my most important job, raising my beautiful little girl.
Yesterday I had bit of a rough (emotional) day. My daughter’s school had their first field trip, and it was the first time that all of the parents were together for an extended period of time. Although I love to meet new people, I was nervous and full of anxiety. I had this overwhelming feeling that I didn’t fit in, or that I wasn’t good enough, or as “put together” as the other parents.
You see, I always thought that losing weight would make those feelings go away, but the truth is that this is an ongoing battle, with plenty of past hurt and self-doubt to repair. I spent a lot of years walking with my head down, and honestly, for many years I assumed that some people wouldn’t want to get to know me, or would pass judgement on me simply because I was morbidly obese. I’ve come to realize that this is a twofold problem; of course, with half of the problem being me.
While the world can be cruel and some people may pass judgement, my self-doubt and anxiety held me back yesterday just as much as it did when I was obese. Do people treat me differently now, yes…but in some ways, that’s because on most days I’m more outgoing, more present, and I let people in…well let’s just scratch yesterday on that front because well, it doesn’t always work out perfectly.
My point is that losing weight doesn’t solve everything, it’s not the answer to everything you’ve been looking for or feeling…the truth is that you hold the key to the happiness you deserve as you are right now. Self-love is always a work in progress, so don’t put of loving yourself until you reach your “goal” weight. I was sad and disappointed with myself yesterday, but today I’m processing it all and learning from it. Life isn’t always as pretty and put together as it all seem, but you know what…scars and wounds of the past teach us compassion, they have a way of showing us the things in life that truly matter, and reveal an inner beauty that is rarely found in someone who hasn’t faced their fair share of struggles. Use your pain to make you better, not bitter.
Lots of love,